Staplers and Sweetness
by Cyan Sonata
Summary: Maybe this time the office prank went a bit too far, but Sutcliffe DID start it. But perhaps it was all worth it, for how his boss responded...? Giftfic for a friend in return for a lovely drawing. First chapter fluff, second is shameless smut.
1. Of Potted Plants and Cardboard Boxes

AN: Giftfic for my friend Rachel because she promised me an EricxAlan drawing! *floaty with happiness* I actually promised her hot sex in my "R-Shitei" cosplay but since teleporters haven't been invented yet that could get me five states southwest in an instant, she gets this. This is not my typical OTP so I don't know if I served it justice. T-T  
There is actually a purpose behind the description of _where_ William adjusts his glasses. Herbsandspices from the BB forums created an entire "Language of Glasses" which can be read here -  
http :/ forums. blackbutler. net/ showthread .php?213-The-Shinigami-FC /page10  
(Just take out the spaces.) It is _fabulous._ I laughed for about twenty minutes reading it.  
And the reason they all share an office is because they do on the Facebook roleplay group I am in, and hilarity ensues. {Usually on Alan's desk... hurr…} This fic is kind of a lot of crack OTL  
A major THANK YOU to Dude_Cripple of BB net for the help with Will's actions and dialogue _and_ for being an awesome-sauce beta! Never could have done this without you~! *gives Dude heaps of hugs and love* I owe _you_ a giftfic now!  
This authors note gets longer every time I open this document... eheh. I know I sort of make Grell a bit of a 'weak' character at a few points, and I generally _hate_ that in fanfiction because it seems so OOC to me. However, there is a reason behind it, if you disagree feel free to PM and say so, I'll give a bit of an explanation :)

* * *

A crash, a giggle, and a high-pitched screech greeted the stern-faced shinigami as he walked down the hall to _that_ particular office. He sighed in resignation, pushed up his glasses by the arm of the frame, and turned the knob, walking into utter chaos.  
There stood _those_ four shinigami, the exact four that really shouldn't share an office but by some horrible twist of fate, did. Apparently, annoyed with the lack of snow outside despite the December chill, they substituted snowballs with what was most likely the paperwork they ought to have been doing, as it was balled up and scattered all over the room. William T Spears pushed up his glasses by their bridge. He was satisfied to see that one of them still had their paperwork in a neat stack on their desk, even if it wasn't done yet.  
The scene the superior walked in on was this – Eric Slingby, looking even more sloppily put-together than usual, stapling Grell Sutcliffe's long hair down to a cardboard box, who was screeching in displeasure, but was unable to do anything about it, as he was being firmly restrained by Ronald Knox, who was laughing hysterically; while watching it all with a slight smile on his face was Alan Humphries, holding, for some inexplicable reason, a potted plant. A moment of perfect silence ensued.  
William decided for the millionth time that he really, really didn't get paid enough.  
"**SLINGBY! SUTCLIFFE! KNOX! HUMPHRIES!**" shouted William, "What in Hades name _is going on here?_"  
Alan dropped the plant in surprise, the pot shattering and spilling dirt everywhere. He managed to look simultaneously horrified and miserable. Ronald immediately let go of Grell and took a few hasty steps backwards. Eric grinned casually and avoided a kick from the now-free Grell.  
"I… they… well… you see… uhm…" Alan attempted, hanging his head in shame.  
Grell, grabbing up the box, flounced over to William. "As you can _see_," he exclaimed, "I was being _tortured._ And then…" Grell batted his artificially-enhanced eyelashes, "_you_ came in just in time to save me! A~hn, you are my _hero_, Will!"  
Eric and Ronald rolled their eyes at each other, and even Alan couldn't contain an 'oh, _please_' expression. The redheads over-the-top flirtations had long ceased to be unnerving and were now merely rather obnoxious.  
William pointedly ignored Grell – still standing there wriggling his hips as a puppy might wag a tail – and instead addressed the other three. "Would all _this_," he indicated the scattered papers, "be the reports you're meant to be filling out?"  
A mumbled chorus of 'yes' was the response.  
Ronald opened his mouth as if to say something else, but Will's terrifying glare made him change his mind, so he opted to just glare at Grell instead.  
William resisted the urge to summon his deathscythe and eviscerate the lot of them. In the corner of his vision Grell was staring at him with pleading eyes. William mentally smacked himself for even thinking the word 'cute.' Composing himself and pushing his glasses up with a finger against the bridge, he said "While you were wasting time stapling your associate's head to a box, you could have been investing it in finishing your overdue paperwork… which you now also have to gather up and smooth out!"  
Alan looked suitably chastised, Eric was barely containing a smirk, and Ronald glared harder at Grell.  
William was well aware why Ronald would be glaring at the scarlet-clad shinigami, his innocent act certainly didn't fool _him_. But he'd address that issue separately. Now he had to deal with what he actually observed. Which, William had to admit, he couldn't decide whether was horrifying or hilarious. "Stapling his hair _to a box?_ I have never heard a more foolish and irresponsible prank!"  
Grell's face quite near lit up "Oo~oh _Will_, you _do_ care!"  
"As much of an incompetent and utterly useless shinigami Sutcliffe is, I do not appreciate you both wasting your time in such mundane activities," William continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. Grell huffed and pouted like a petulant child. "Unpaid overtime, all of you." Both Ronald and Grell began to protest before William continued "Yes, Sutcliffe, you too. I am certain you did _something_ to provoke them." The expression that would not be out of place on a three year old preceding a temper-tantrum that was on Grell's face intensified. Internally, William found it amusing, but did not let it show, of course. He went on: "Humphries, clean up that plant and finish your paperwork, that I am pleased to see is still sitting on your desk, in an un-balled state. Slingby and Knox, gather up all the papers, smooth them out, and copy every single line onto new sheets and then fill them out. I do not care that some of them are Sutcliffe's. You two were stapling him to a box. Despite his ineptness, he is still…" William sighed slightly, as though he hated to claim any relation to the creature, before continuing, "a shinigami, and I cannot tolerate such behavior amongst any of my subordinates. While they are doing that, you," William indicated Grell with a terrifying glance, "will come with me. I am certain _something_ preceded this incident, and I know that I won't get the truth from you with these three present."  
"But…!" Grell began to protest, holding up the box that was still attached to his hair. William silenced him with a glare. Hanging his head, Grell followed his superior out of the office.

"I didn't do anything, I swear!" the red reaper began the moment they were in the hall; "they just randomly decided to torture me! They were going to pour the dirt from that plant into my _hair_, Will! They were just being mean for no good reason!"  
"Know that your punishment will be doubled for every lie you tell," Willaim said mildly, "now, Sutcliffe," he continued, ushering Grell into his office, "shut up."  
With that, William pushed Grell into his chair, got out a metal file, and began to painstakingly remove the staples that held the scarlet tresses he treasured ever so much to the cardboard. For once, Grell was actually stunned speechless. He sat there for several moments like a witless fish, mouth gaping before he managed even a breathless "Will…! What are…?"  
"I believe I told you to shut up," William said calmly, pulling out another staple. Miraculously, Grell shut his mouth and kept it shut. The superior Shinigami was careful to avoid looking at his adoring expression. Methodically and efficiently, just like he handled every aspect of his job, he pried up the prongs and extracted each staple. Just as he was pulling the last one out, Grell began to speak again.  
"William, I…"  
"_Sutcliffe…_" the black-haired superior started warningly.  
"No! Let me speak!" Grell exclaimed, and William was startled to see tears glittering in the corners of Grell's usually bright eyes. "I wasn't entirely honest with you! I provoked them! I started a snowba… er, paperball fight… with _their _work, not mine! So they all decided to get revenge for giving them extra work! And now they're doing what _I_ should have been doing while you take care of me!"  
William stared in utter amazement as Grell actually burst into tears. Grell Sutcliffe, otherwise known in the mortal world as _Jack the Ripper_, crying. Over the fact that he had wronged his co-workers and that his superior was showing compassion towards him. For once in his long life, William did not know what to do.  
"Grell…" he began hesitantly.  
The redhead looked up at William, shocked at the use of his first name.  
"What you did was wrong… however… it was not their place to punish you. They should have come to get me. Instead, they reacted and I must say, it was completely over-the-top. To physically mar you in any way just because they were angry over some _paperwork_ is a dreadful transgression. I…" William found himself floundering for words, and to his horror felt heat rise in his cheeks, staining his pale features pink.  
"Oh, Will!" wailed Grell, and flung himself towards the superior shinigami, wrapping his arms around his neck and burying his face in his shoulder, "Don't say such things when you ought to be punishing me! It makes me feel so…"  
"Grell," William said flatly, and the flamboyant reaper pulled away, looking abashed.  
His brilliantly green-gold eyes were downcast, nearly obscured by his artificial lashes. Without a thought, William acted upon a wild impulse, causing Grell's eyes to fly wide open as he felt a pair of soft lips press against his own. The usually-dispassionate superior moved back as quickly as he'd initiated the kiss in the first place.  
Grell, for the second time in his entire afterlife, shockingly so shortly after his first episode, seemed to be at a loss for words. He just stared up at Will, remnants of tears still clinging to his artificial eyelashes, his cheeks delicately colored, and slowly raised one slim finger to his lips, pressing against them as if to ensure yes, he still could feel them.  
William couldn't help it, he thought the word that had resided in the back of his mind to describe the redhead since the moment he'd first laid eyes on him. Beautiful.  
"Grell..." he began, his voice faltering somewhat, but was cut off by what could be best described as a scarlet hurricane as the red haired shinigami jumped on him, arms around his neck and lips firmly planted on his own.  
The desk shook a bit as William stumbled back, caught off guard. With a corner of his mind he considered whether the ink spilled or any papers fell... but mostly he was completely swept away. He'd never let himself submit to Grell's advances before, and was shocked to find that all his boasting about his 'talents' were not an exaggeration. The way his lips were moving against his, the way his fingers were gently running through his hair, brushing against the nape of his neck... William's mind was beginning to feel a little bit fuzzy, and when he felt Grell's tongue brush against his lip, he unconsciously opened his mouth, and the redhead wasted no time taking advantage of that to fully map out every corner of the normally-unresponsive man's mouth.  
William flinched slightly, fearing for the safety of his tongue, presented with Grell's shark-like teeth, but the feminine reaper knew exactly what he was doing, and was skilled enough to not cause any painful 'accidents.' Will was uncertain as to how much time passed as he just sat there on the edge of his desk, letting Grell have his way... but he was certain that _this had to stop_. Grabbing the redheads shoulders with both hands, he firmly pushed him away.  
"Stop. This is inappropriate."  
Grell's face was a mixture of hurt, fear, and longing.  
"What if someone were to see?"  
With that, William got up, walked over to the door, and definitively locked it. When he turned back to Grell, his expression had morphed into something that conveyed "wait... wha...?" Will almost smirked.  
"Now then, I believe you are due for a punishment... for one..." William pulled off a glove, "interfering with others ability to work," the other glove came off, "for another, lying to your superior when questioned about the situation," William stepped closer to Grell, whose face was becoming increasingly more flushed, "thirdly, behaving in a wanton manner towards your superior during office hours." William hooked his fingers under the striped ribbon Grell wore around his neck, tugging him closer. "I think it's a waste to mete out punishments that don't also benefit me in some way," he said, his voice low and dangerous. Grell shivered, his eyes glittering in anticipation.  
William released the ribbon and shoved the redhead against the desk with a firm hand in the middle of his chest. Catching his wrists in one hand, he pressed him soundly back and downward, trapping him completely with his body.  
"Ow! Will, that hurts!" Grell complained at the angle that his back was now bent, random paraphernalia from the desk digging into him.  
"If it didn't, it wouldn't be a _punishment_, now would it?"  
Grell attempted a little wriggle, testing how solid William's hold on him really was. The dark-haired man didn't give in the least, although he had to force himself to repress a shudder at the feel of Grell's hips against his thighs. Leaning down, he captured Grell's lips in a fierce kiss. No way was he letting himself being taken over like that again. He'd be sure that the slender shinigami knew exactly who was superior here...

* * *

AN – Aaaannnddd I think I shall continue this little scene in a second chapter. Because this is getting obnoxiously long.  
The promised picture has since been drawn (I've been working on this stupid fic for like, three months now -_- ) and OMG~! **-dies a bit-** It's so cute and wonderful and omgggg~!  
http:/ alchemical-disaster. Deviantart. com/art /Surprise-193354568  
It made all this torture completely worth it, and I must tell you it really _is_ torture. They're both so OOC and it required me to 'cheat' on _two_ of my OTPS, _**ugh.**_ After they leave the office, I hate everything about this fic. Not even kidding. There's a little Undertaker in my mind, shaking his head in disappointment. And the little Ronnie has a look of such utter devastation... TT-TT


	2. An Alternate Use for a Desk

A/N - Gods this took me SO LONG to write! Never again, this pairing. I just can't get it through my head. -is violently ill- I had a WxR open in another window as therapy LOL  
EDIT: The... OVA... it... converted me... orz  
Still took for-freakin'-_ever_ to write, though!

* * *

"Ah!" gasped Grell against William's mouth, submitting to the kiss eagerly. The dark haired man forced his lips apart with his tongue, ravishing his mouth, disregarding the slight nicks he received from Grell's sharp teeth.

While Grell had enjoyed 'taking charge' of the situation before, the way he was being dominated now was far more enjoyable. The pain of the sharp angle he was forced into and the pens digging into his back only intensified the pleasure. As much as he'd complain about being 'abused,' the redhead reveled in it.

William smirked, well, as much as he was able to with his tongue near down Grell's throat. He was _well_ aware of his colleague's masochistic tendencies and fully intended to exploit them. Wrapping one hand around both of Grell's delicate wrists, he ran the other down the scarlet shinigami's body. Grell shivered delightfully, sending shivers through Will as well.

Buttons, buttons, buttons... good gods, why did Grell wear so many layers of clothing? And ones that were so blatantly against regulation? With a bit of a growl, he grew impatient and resorted to simply yanking at them.

"Ah, Wi~ill!" Grell whined, "Not my good clothes!"

"Shut up. Or I'll stop."

The threat caused Grell to close his mouth with an audible click. He'd only wanted this for about a hundred years. This was not the time to push his luck.

Jacket, vest, ribbon, shirt, all pulled off – some buttons tearing in the process – and tossed aside.

William stopped. "Grell," he began, and cleared his throat, "Are you wearing a ladies chemise?"

"Why do you even bother to ask?"

"... Indeed."

Grell sighed dramatically. "Really Will? Is it that off-putting? Just get rid of it, then!"

"I was actually thinking... ah, it's not important," William muttered, and promptly removed the lacy garment.

With his arms stretched above his head and back flat against the desk, Grell's delicate physique appeared even more sylphlike, his ribs standing out against the flat plane of his stomach. Where did his strength come from, William pondered momentarily. This willowy body looked like it belonged draped in silks lounging in some salon, not running across the roofs of London dragging a deathscythe most reapers wouldn't dare touch, let alone swing about as if it were nothing more than a stick.

"Will?" Grell asked with some annoyance.

William realized he had stopped all action and was simply staring. After shaking his head to banish his musings, he began placing feather-light kisses on Grell's collarbone and shoulders.

Grell sighed happily, having worried that William lost interest in their activities. Trailing his mouth lower, the dark-haired man discovered he could not reach farther while still pinning Grell's arms. Moving his hands to hold the redhead's shoulders instead, he continued the kisses onto that temptingly taut stomach. Grell responded with a shiver and mewl. Why did he find sounds like that sexy? William couldn't even begin to imagine, but nonetheless, he did, and wanted very much to cause as many as he possibly could.

He slid his hands downward to pinch and tease the flamboyant reaper's nipples while he continued with open-mouthed kisses all over his abdomen. Grell arched into his touch with a moan.

So much for 'punishment', as it was obvious the redhead was in bliss. Ah well. He'd be getting unpaid overtime afterward. William smiled to himself as he imagined Grell's reaction to _that!_

Functionally short as William's nails were, they were enough to leave red lines down Grell's pale chest.

"Ahhhh~" The redhead writhed, enjoying the pleasure-pain sensations. His arms completely free, he twined his fingers through William's dark hair.

Immediately, the taller man caught his slender wrists and slammed them back down to the desk. Grell gasped at the suddenness. Taking advantage of his open mouth, William caught him in a fierce, bruising kiss. The scarlet shinigami's mew of delight was muffled between them.

The next moments were a confused tangle of limbs and clothing; the brunet shinigami stood with a slight huff of irritation and hastily rid himself of tie, jacket, and waistcoat.

The tie he wrapped around Grell's wrists and knotted neatly, as to free his hands for other activities whilst still keeping the redhead restrained. William noticed that Grell's slight pink blush increased as his hands were tied. He made a mental note of that.

With his usual brisk efficiency, the stern shinigami unbuttoned and removed his shirt. Grell's expression as he watched was one of pure desire. William allowed himself a slight smirk before he trailed a teasing hand down from the red reaper's shoulder, across his chest, caressed his stomach, and rested lightly upon the button of his trousers.

Grell made a strangled squeak noise and arched up against his hand, wanting him to undo it, or at least touch him more. Still smirking, the taller shinigami ran his finger lightly across the top of the waistband.

"W-will... please!" panted Grell, "I cannot stand this! I need you now!"

Need. Yes, the desperate look certainly was a needy one. William realized that causing such desire in the redhead was quite satisfactory. Briskly, he divested Grell of the trousers, pausing only when his foolish heels got in the way.

Unsurprisingly, the flamboyant reaper as also wearing ladies panties, a red lacy scrap of near nothingness that was completely pointless in covering him in the least.

"Why do you even bother?" William murmured, pulling at the elastic, and then yanking those off as well.

"They're decoration, not accoutrement," Grell replied with a sniff.

That high-nosed comment from such a position was... absolutely ridiculous. William couldn't hold back a slight chuckle. Grell shot him a glare, which only perpetuated it.

"Acting so high and mighty with your wrists tied, naked, on my desk. Honestly, Grell."

"'Honestly,' just cut the conversation and fuck me already!" the redhead snapped.

William was tempted for a moment to get dressed and walk out, just on principle. But his own desires were making themselves blatantly apparent and were not keen on allowing such a thing. A certain part of his body in particular was agreeing with Grell's statement wholeheartedly.

He placed two fingers against the slender shinigami's lips. "Suck," he commanded flatly. Ever obedient to such displays of dominance, Grell did so.

As much as he knew it was necessary, the 'preparation' was extremely unappealing to the dark-haired reaper, and got it over with as quickly as possible without causing his subordinate undue pain. Although, knowing Grell, he'd likely have enjoyed the pain anyway.

Unzipping his trousers, William placed his erection at the redhead's stretched entrance. Grell was near trembling with anticipation.

Without any warning, the taller man pushed himself all the way in and Grell cried out, his face flushing with rapture. The immediate tightness around William made him groan as well. The redhead displayed his experience with such matters by responding to every thrust with a shift of his hips that made him even tighter.

"Ahh~n Will! Harder, oh please... f-fuck m-me ha~arder!"

The stuttered, ecstatic moan was certainly enough encouragement for the usually expressionless reaper, who was now flushed and panting as he pounded his coworker against his desk. Any semblance of organization was now lost, as all the paperwork and pens were knocked to the floor with the force of their passionate activities.

Feeling his release nearing, William wrapped a hand around Grell's arousal and pumped in time with his thrusts.

"F-fuck! Will... ah! Y-yesss... nngggg!" The scarlet shinigami's exclamations only served to push William closer to orgasm, and he increased the pace of both his thrusts and the motion of his hand.

Nearly screaming William's name, Grell came hard over his hand and his own stomach. The dark-haired man bit his lip to keep his own cry of pleasure contained as he too released.

Leaning over the desk, he allowed a moment to catch his breath before pulling out and putting himself back to rights. Undoing his tie from Grell's wrists, he refastened it about his neck.

"Once you're dressed, you're to tidy my desk. And I want everything back _exactly_ as it was. Oh, and I'm assigning you an hour of unpaid overtime every day this week."

Grell gaped at him.

"After you complete that hour... you're to report to my office for further... _punishment._"

* * *

A/N – Well that took far too long to write. Gods... -feels exhausted- I think I may be able to write these two from now on, though! :'D

Thanks to Dani for being beta! I have so many awesome friends :3


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